STIA calling it quits

It's been real. It's been fun. Hell, it's actually been real fun! But, I am sad to say I am shutting the blog because basically, I am out of ideas.

I hate when blogs putter out, or when you subscribe to a blog and there's never any new posts (Drew, I'm talking to you). So I'd rather just give you a head's up that this is the last post and let you move onto find other interesting things on the Web.

This was a fun experiment that actually stretched me as a professional writer. Thanks to everyone who read and posted comments.

I'll let you know when and if I launch a new blog!

Later,
STIA

The last bowl of cereal

STIA loves cereal. LOVES it. We buy at least two boxes every week of different kinds and flavors. But STIA HATES the last bowl of cereal -- not because it marks the end of a beloved box, but because inevitably, there isn't enough for a whole bowl and so it's sits in a box in my pantry until it gets stale and rots.

Sometimes, it's good to mix cereals. This was a foreign idea to me until the invention of cereal bars on college campuses, and hearing that the "cool" way to do it was to mix it up. Wow. Crazy kids. First you come up with sexting, and now this!? How else will this future generation enrich my life?

But not all cereals are good mixed together, and since STIA eats a lot of healthy stuff, this is especially true. Kashi Honey Sunshine just doesn't mix with Cascade Farms Fiber Right Clusters. In fact, nothing really mixes with Cascade Farms Fiber Right Clusters. It's disgusting.

Lame outgoing cell phone messages

I just called a woman for work purposes and after several rings I was greeted by a throaty street cough, a hip-hop beat and finally, "welcome to Cashville motherf**kers."

Now, this MIGHT be acceptable for a teenager, although I would probably advise my son or daughter otherwise, but for an adult? Really?

I don't care if it's an Elton John song, or your adorable kids saying, "Hwai. You reached mwy mommie's cell phone. Pwlease weave a message,"cutsie outgoing messages are annoying. This is a not a time to express your individuality, this is a time to let me know who I am calling, so I can make sure I didn't dial the wrong number. Say your name, and let me move on with my life.

People that want their picture 'made'

Mr. STIA is a photographer, so we hear people use "make" instead of "take" when talking about photography all the time.

For example, "Hey, make a picture of me and this car." Or, "We're going to have our picture made."

Talk about being in a time warp. This phrase was dated before, but it's especially useless now with the invention of digital cameras. There's no "making" going on. No one is going to go behind a curtain and hit a button followed by a poof of smoke. And if you're anything like me, your not even going to go to Target to have your digital pictures "made" into prints. They'll sit on your camera, until you erase them to make room for new ones.

Couples that wear matching shirts

OK, this one may see a bit obvious, but I spotted TWO couple wearing matching shirts this weekend, so I thought it might to be good to revisit the issue.

This is a two-prong annoying subject. First, it's annoying because it shows an over attention to planning and a total ignorance to the level of lameness. Who DOES that, really? We know you're in love, but do you want to be the same person? This is really over the top.

On the second front, it shows a total lack of planning and carelessness. You woke up, got dressed saw that your hubby was wearing the same thing and STILL went to the grocery store. Really? Really?

People that don't put their dog on a leash

This post is inspired by an incident that occurred this morning on my morning poopie walk with my dog, and Irish Terrier named Ira.

We were walking down our street, and about three houses down, a German Shepherd comes running toward us. He arrives, starts to sniff Ira, and then they start going AT it. I start screaming and try to separate them without losing a hand, Ira whimpers when the dog gets a few bites in and a few seconds later, the dog inexplicably runs off.


Luckily, the dog bites didn't break any skin, that I saw. I have a cut on my finger from the leash, but the whole thing just pissed me off. What if I would have had a kid with me? What if the dog would have bitten me?

I spent the rest of the morning daydreaming what I would have done to the dog had it gone for me. Maybe I should carry pepper spray? Maybe I should have kicked it? I've never pictured myself beating a dog, but I wanted to hurt this poor pup. (Ira is pictured, left. I haven't figured out how to work the 'caption' option yet.)

After I thought more about it, my anger rationally shifted to the owners. It's one thing to allow your dog off leash if you live in the country, or even if you

are supervising said dog while it plays in your yard. But to let it run around while you're inside taking a shower? That just shows an annoying disrespect for the life of the dog and your neighbors. And THAT is a while new level of annoying.

'Istas'

I'd like to officially declare the word '-ista' overused. As in, "Fashionista," "Trashionista" and "Frugalista," which I heard on the Target ad yesterday and finally decided I'd had enough.

The irony of this whole -ista thing is that I didn't really know what the suffix meant until I heard a writer for Atlanta magazine describe it when talking about The Read Housewives of Atlanta (a fav show of mine).

“An ‘ista’ of any kind is someone who works something to their advantage," said Amanda Brown Heckert, the writer. "These women are peddlers of trash and that works for them.”

Ok. That makes enough sense. But with all the advertisements, etc. the "ista" suffix is officially on overkill. Thoughts?

People that add an 's' to store names that do not have an 's'

This is a common faux pa in the South where we like to put an 's' on the end of nearly every store known to man.

Let's see... there's "Krogers" and "Eckards" and "WalMarts." What am I missing?

Poor grammar is always annoying, though I myself am guilty on many accounts (a few of which are no doubt on display on this blog). But once you have knowledge of said offense, I think you have a duty to correct it. No, it's not cute or folksy, and I think there are better ways to display your Southern charm (make some pimento cheese, for example. Or perhaps a pound cake.)

Whatever it is that makes me want to see every Sandra Bullock movie

What is it that makes me want to see every Sandy Bullock film that comes out? I know how it's going to end. I know that Sandy Bullock is starting to look weird since she had a little work done. Yet still, I feel a strange desire to see every Sandy Bullock movie that hits the theater.

Maybe it's because I'm worried Sandy will run into that wall if I'm not there to yell, "Watch out, girl!" Or maybe she won't get the guy if I'm not there to root for her. Whatever it is, Sandy's got the voodoo hex on me, and every time I see a preview for one of her formulaic, predictable films, I want to rush to the theater.

In my Netflix cue: The Proposal.
On my best of list: Miss Congeniality, Hope Floats (I also like this movie when it was called Something to Talk about and starred Julia Roberts), Two Weeks Notice.
Flat-out terrible: The Lake House, Practical Magic

What am I missing?

Edible Arrangements®

This suggestion comes from reader Linda P. who hates these fruit-as-flower gifts for this reason:

"When you reach in to pluck one of the fruit sticks out, your hand invariably gets fruity," she said.

Edible Arrangements makes STIA's list because of it's lameness, and because it's trying to be something it's not.

See, flowers are awesome to get because they are fragrant and lovely. They're a treat because they're not something you'd normally buy for yourself, unless you're Oprah and can afford to have roses delivered to your home every day. Fruit, on the other hand, not so much a treat. Unless your diet is a disaster, you probably buy fruit from time-to-time, maybe even every time you visit the grocery story. So fruit that's been manhandled and shaped to look like something it's not is probably not going to be that much of a treat for you.

Also, why does everything in this country have to be edible? Isn't it enough just to give someone a bouquet? Do they need to be able to eat that bouquet, too?

It should be noted that Linda and I had a conversation about whether cookie arrangements should be grouped into this category. While the cookie bouquets are also poseurs (and lack the deliciousness of regular cookies) they ARE still cookies and so we got to give them a pass. I'll never hate on flower, butter and sugar on this blog.